Abuse victim opens café for victims of domestic violence
by Aline Nassif
aline.nassif@essnmedia.co.uk
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HELPING OTHERS: Janet Bakar in her charity café
A woman who suffered physical and mental abuse in her youth has opened a "charity café" for victims of domestic violence.
Janet Bakar hopes to reach out to hundreds of down-trodden women from her welcoming eatery in Westow Street, Upper Norwood.
The café is called Living Water Satisfies - after her charity shop in nearby Church Road.
Janet hopes the informal surroundings will entice customers and raise much-needed funds for the charity's overall £200,000 annual running costs.
"I want to reach out to women who suffer from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence because of abuse," she said.
"I know what that feels like as I suffered physical and mental violence when I was 15, and for a long time was too afraid to even go outdoors because I thought all men wanted to harm me."
Janet says she is on a mission to help women rediscover their "strength".
She added: "With our charity every case is treated individually, which is why the women who come to us feel safe and cared for.
"Some of them just want a chat and support, others need serious help finding places to go or getting out of terrible relationships where children are involved.
"We can put them in touch with GPs, counsellors, police and other supportive organisations in the borough."
The Living Water Satisfies charity was born in August 2001, when Janet and four friends raised enough money to open a charity shop.
Without any financial help from central government, they have built up a scheme that has helped more than 100 women escape violent relationships.
At the back of the café is a conference room, where 43-year-old Janet plans to host domestic violence workshops and counselling sessions.
And her next project will be going into schools across the borough to teach young girls what "healthy relationships are made of".
The café is open from 9am until 6pm, Mondays to Saturdays, and from 10am until 5pm on Sundays.
*To find out more about the charity visit www.livingwatersatisfies.org.uk.
14 Comments
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by Negative, The Cronx
Friday, December 11 2009, 9:03AM
“RPB, of course its an issue! Whenever someone says 'Domestic Violence', it is an automatic assumption that the victim is female. Just like it is automatically assumed that women are childcarers, hence why the NHS is only interested in giving women information about babies. The NHS is another organisation that hates men.”
by RPB, Coulsdon
Thursday, December 10 2009, 4:49PM
“Mr Kipling, my point was that there are also many groups for men to go to if they need support from abuse, and if we wanted to be really picky, we could say that these groups discriminate against women.
In fact, if we wanted to take it to a ridiculous extreme, we could say that any group like this discriminates against people who aren't victims of abuse. Why can't non-victims join??
It's all too easy to cry "political correctness gone mad" when actually it's common sense.
I think it's entirely fair to assume that male victims of abuse, and female victims of abuse, have different needs and will respond to different support groups.
I really, really don't think there is any issue with this being a support group for specifically women who are victims of abuse. Again, let's not create an issue where there isn't one.”
by RobinHood, Sherwood
Thursday, December 10 2009, 12:36PM
“Great idea but on the downside the abusers now know where to look for their victims.
How long before a fatal takes place in Westow St?”
by Anon, anon
Thursday, December 10 2009, 12:21PM
“Im sure if anyone that is being abused will not be turned away from her service.”
by misterkiping, Croydon
Thursday, December 10 2009, 8:51AM
“No, looking at the website, it seems pretty female orientated.
"We welcome all women and are particularly interested in helping ethnic minority women"
So they don't acknowledge domestic abuse victims can be male, and they aren't as interested in white women at that.
Its either all or nothing girls, we have left the time when a sign on a door could say " No Blacks" and I think the fact "No Men" is still with us is very discriminatory.
With such an attitude I feel far less positive and compassionate for her cause, even Anne hasn't commented on here which shows a lot”
by RPB, Coulsdon
Wednesday, December 09 2009, 5:25PM
“I agree that domestic violence often ignores men as victims, however, that isn't Janet's fault and in my view she should be congratulated for what she is doing.
There ARE specific groups set up to help men who are victims of domestic abuse - a 5-second Google search will reveal that immediately - so let's not create an issue where there isn't one.”
by Anon, Anon
Wednesday, December 09 2009, 2:33PM
“maybe some men should do what she has done, but will they? men are ones to keep things to themselves and not want to talk about it.”
by Negative, The Cronx
Wednesday, December 09 2009, 2:01PM
“Men being ignored by women, or having asumptions made that women do not abuse people is abuse against men. Women causing this sort of abuse are far more prevalent than men being violent towards women. Where are all these groups to offer men help from abusive women?”
by Sharon, Croydon
Wednesday, December 09 2009, 8:57AM
“How about contacting her directly and voicing your concerns for the male victims of abuse. Maybe she is just ignorant to the fact rather than predjudiced”
by misterkiping, Croydon
Wednesday, December 09 2009, 1:24AM
“For this domestic violence group to not acknowledge that a quarter of the victims are male is offensive, it would be like me saying she deserved that slap for burning the dinner.
Are there any other minority groups they are turning their backs on?”