Crash Morgan vs The Spider Warlords of Mars

The Green Dragon, Croydon

Friday, October 2

Go back in time with this 1930s radio play, performed upstairs at The Green Dragon in homage to the Flash Gordon series.

It's a fast and funny play with a feel of Raiders of the Lost Ark to it - plus, you get a fish and chip supper thrown in for good measure.

Performances at 7.30pm.

Tickets £10 including fish and chips, call 020 8667 1868.

Ha Ha Hitler!

Warehouse Theatre, Croydon

Until Sunday, October 11

The Ha Ha Boys are back from their huge success with Ha Ha Hamlet!, and this time they're taking on World War II.

Loosely based on The Great Escape, Ha Ha Hitler! is an all-singing, all-dancing romp through German-occupied France.

It's 1942 and three hopeless RAF pilots are planning their escape from Chateau Plonke.

Tom, Dick and Hilary discover more than they ever thought they would about the war, disguise and finding romance - as well as the significance of the Enigma Machine code book.

Performances at 8pm, Tuesdays 6.30pm, Sundays 5pm.

Tickets from £8, call 020 8680 4060.

Best of British Variety Tour 2009

Fairfield, Croydon

Friday, October 2

Variety entertainment is alive and kicking in the UK - and it's back in Croydon this week with the massive Best of British Variety Tour 2009.

Headlined by classic comedy duo Cannon and Ball, there's something for everyone in this show.

There are also laughs from comedians Norman Collier and Tom O'Connor, and actress, singer, impressionist and funny woman Faith Brown.

Eurovision legends Bucks Fizz will be providing the music, and the line up is completed by ventriloquist act Roger de Courcey and Nookie Bear.

Performance at 7.30pm.

Tickets from £25, call 020 8688 9291.

Diane Shaw, Motown Live: A Tribute to the Legends of Soul

Croydon Clocktower

Friday, October 2

Come and hear this new soul diva as she performs Motown classics that have spanned 50 years.

Shaw will be belting out hits from Gladys Knight, Diana Ross and The Supremes, The Vandellas and The Four Tops.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets £10, concessions £8, call 020 8253 1030.

Classic Legends of Rock Tour

Fairfield, Croydon

Saturday, October 3

The Strawbs will be headlining this evening of classic rock from some golden oldies.

They'll be joined by Martin Turner's Wishbone Ash and Focus - a real treat for rock fans.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets from £21.50, call 020 8688 9291.

T-Rextasy

Epsom Playhouse

Monday, October 5

Tribute group T-Rextasy explode onto the stage at the Epsom Playhouse this week.

It's the ultimate dedication to Marc Bolan, packed with all your favourite hits.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets £17.50, call 01372 742 555.

Blithe Spirit

Wickham Theatre Centre, Corkscrew Hill, West Wickham

Monday, October 5 until Saturday, October 10

Novelist Charles accidentally summons the spirit of his first wife Elvira during a seance.

Elvira is intent on ruining his second marriage to Ruth, so Charles decides his only option is to enlist the help of a medium.

This is one of Noel Coward's most popular comedies.

Performances at 8pm.

Tickets for members or invited guests, email tickets@theatre62.org.uk or call 020 8777 3037.

Julie Rogers

Arnhem Gallery, Fairfield, Croydon

Tuesday, October 6

Glamorous former teen star Julie Rogers performs the lunchtime concert this week.

More than 40 years since her smash hit The Wedding, she's still not hanging up her performing boots.

Performance at 1.05pm.

Tickets £5, call 020 8688 9291.

Kevin Bloody Wilson

Fairfield, Croydon

Tuesday, October 6

Outrageous comedian Kevin Bloody Wilson is back for more of Croydon this week.

He's a busy man, entertaining Australian troops in global war zones, and for this show he's enlisted the help of fellow Aussie comedian Jenny Talia.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets £18.50, call 020 8688 9291.

Dorian Gray

New Wimbledon Theatre

Tuesday, October 6 until Saturday, October 10

Matthew Bourne's newest smash-hit ballet is back in town.

Oscar Wilde's classic gothic fairytale has been updated for a generation obsessed by celebrity and fame.

From the country's favourite dance company, New Adventures.

Performances at 7.30pm, Thursday and Saturday matinees 2.30pm.

The Shakespeare Schools Festival

Ashcroft Theatre, Croydon

Wednesday, October 7 until Friday, October 9

Each day of the festival, four local schools stage four different plays.

They're supported by the National Theatre and National Youth Theatre to encourage young people to be Shakespearean players.

Performances at 7pm.

Tickets from £5.50, call 020 8688 9291.

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra

Fairfield, Croydon

Wednesday, October 7

The Spirit of England is a very English programme of music from the RPO.

They'll be performing works by Vaughan Williams and Edward Elgar.

Performance at 7.30pm.

Tickets from £10, call 020 8688 9291.

Romeo and Juliet, and A Taste of Honey

Croydon Clocktower

Wednesday, October 7 and Thursday, October 8

Two tales of teenage love are at the Clocktower this week, kicking off with the most famous of romances, Romeo and Juliet.

On Thursday Shelagh Delaney's play about a pregnant teenager, written when she was just 18, is performed.

Performances at 7.30pm.

Tickets £7.50 each or £10 both, concessions £6 each or £8 both, call 020 8253 1030.

Counterfeit Stones

Epsom Playhouse

Thursday, October 8

Tribute band The Counterfeit Stones perform their mockumentary of The Stones' colourful history between 1963 and 1981.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets £19.50, call 01372 742 555.

Scooby Doo and the Pirate Ghost

The Churchill, Bromley

Thursday, October 8 until Saturday, October 10

Kids, get ready for a spooky experience!

The Scooby Doo gang are back with a ghostly mystery to solve.

Featuring comedy, great songs and special effects, this is a fun show for kids aged three and over.

Performances at 6.30pm Thursday, 1.30pm and 6.30pm Friday, and 11am, 2pm and 5pm Saturday.

Tickets from £9.50 for children, call 0844 871 7620.