Ha Ha Hitler!

Warehouse Theatre, Croydon

Until Sunday, October 11

This is the most hilarious wartime story never told!

The Ha Ha Boys are back from their huge success with Ha Ha Hamlet!, and this time they're taking on World War II.

Loosely based on The Great Escape, Ha Ha Hitler! is an all-singing, all-dancing romp through German-occupied France.

It's 1942 and three hopeless RAF pilots are planning their escape from Chateau Plonke.

Tom, Dick and Hilary discover more than they ever thought they would about the war, disguise and finding romance - as well as the significance of the Enigma Machine code book.

Performances at 8pm, Tuesdays 6.30pm, Sundays 5pm.

Tickets from £8, call 020 8680 4060.

Abba Mania

Fairfield, Croydon

Friday, September 25

Sing along to all your favourite Abba hits in this show that's just finished touring the southern hemisphere.

Including favourites like Mamma Mia, Voulez Vous, Dancing Queen and Super Trouper.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets from £19.50, call 020 8688 9291.

Spirit of the Dance

Epsom Playhouse

Friday, September 25

Combining Irish dance with other exciting dance styles from around the world, this show is bursting with energy.

It's one of the best Irish dance shows around and features some fantastic highlights from the last 11 years of touring.

Performances at 6pm and 8.45pm.

Tickets £22, call 01372 742555.

Polar Bear

Croydon Clocktower

Friday, September 25

Mercury Music Prize nominees Polar Bear return to the Clocktower after a sell-out gig last year.

Their blend of jazz, indie and electronica has seen this group nominated for Jazzwise's 100 Jazz Albums that Changed the World and The Guardian's 1000 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets £10, concessions £8, call 020 8253 1030.

Last Night of the Proms

Fairfield, Croydon

Saturday, September 26

The nation's favourite night of classical music is celebrated at Fairfield this weekend.

It includes prom favourites Jerusalem and Land of Hope and Glory, as well as the choral Fantasia on British Sea Songs and excerpts from Fledermaus.

Performance at 7.30pm.

Tickets from £8, call 020 8688 9291.

Croydon Philharmonic Choir Singing Workshop

St Matthew's Church, Chichester Road, Croydon

Saturday, September 26

Have a go at singing with the Croydon Philharmonic Choir, lead by David Gibson.

Music will be provided but singers should bring a packed lunch.

From 10am until 4pm.

Tickets £10, call 01737 555 462.

Come and Sing

St John's Church, Cannons Hill, Old Coulsdon

Saturday, September 26

Musical director of East Surrey Choral Society Ian Kennedy runs this singing workshop.

Amateur singers can have a go at Vivaldi's Gloria and Faure's Requiem and Cantique de Jean Racine, with a performance at 5pm.

From 10am, performance at 5pm.

Tickets £10, music hire £1, performance tickets £5, call 01293 786 358.

The Grass is Greener

The Churchill, Bromley

Monday, September 28 until Saturday, October 3

And we're back into play season with this 60s comedy at The Churchill.

When an impoverished English Earl throws open the doors of his stately home to the public, he invites disaster in as his wife falls in love with an American millionaire.

To save his marriage he decides to host a house party, with the help of an old flame and a wily butler.

Performances at 7.45pm, Thursday and Saturday matinees at 2.30pm.

Tickets from £18, call 0844 871 7620.

The Magic of Pantomime

Arnhem Gallery, Fairfield, Croydon

Tuesday, September 29

Get ready for Julian Clary's Fairfield date and the Christmas season to come with this lunchtime show.

Backstage worker Ian Gledhill appears alongside Julian Clary in panto every year - here, he looks at the history of panto, traditions and superstitions, as well as telling some personal anecdotes.

Performance at 1.05pm.

Tickets £5, call 020 8688 9291.

Bully

Croydon Clocktower

Wednesday, September 30

Richard Fry's sell-out sensation from the 2008 Edinburgh Fringe Festival comes to Croydon this week.

Fry will have you cackling one minute and crying the next as he relates stories about trying not to turn into his dad.

Performance at 7.30pm.

Tickets £7.50, concessions £6, call 020 8253 1030.

That's Amore

Fairfield, Croydon

Thursday, October 1

This Dean Martin tribute stars Mark Adams as the man himself, performing some cabaret numbers.

There'll also be convincing "star" appearances from Nat King Cole, Shirley Maclaine, Peggy Lee and Petula Clark tributes.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets from £19.50, call 020 8688 9291.

Russell Kane: Human Dressage

Epsom Playhouse

Thursday, October 1

The hilarious Russell Kane, star of Live at the Apollo, brings his Human Dressage show to Epsom.

Preening, prancing and posing: why do we do it and what does it achieve?

Kane takes a side-splitting look at human vanity in this fast-paced show.

Performance at 8pm.

Tickets £12, call 01372 742555.

The Grapes of Wrath

New Wimbledon Theatre

Thursday, October 1 until Saturday, October 3

This adaptation of the John Steinbeck novel won two Tony awards on Broadway and is a timely portrayal of a nation in search of itself.

It follows the Joad family, who are forced to leave their drought-ridden home in mid-west America, as they set out on an epic journey for a new life in California.

Performances at 7.30pm, Saturday matinee at 2.30pm.

Tickets from £13, call 0844 871 7646.

Crash Morgan vs The Spider Warlords of Mars

The Green Dragon, Croydon

Thursday, October 1 and Friday, October 2

Go back in time with this 1930s radio play, performed upstairs at The Green Dragon in homage to the Flash Gordon series.

It's a fast and funny play with a feel of Raiders of the Lost Ark to it - plus, you get a fish and chip supper thrown in for good measure.

Performances at 7.30pm.

Tickets £10 including fish and chips, call 020 8667 1868.