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12:00 - 24-July-2008
But the ex-Whitgift schoolboy couldn't bring himself to end it all and turned around.
Now, three years on, he has turned his life around too – though not before three more visits to the same spot where each time he contemplated suicide.
The key to transforming his state of mind, and as a result his lif e, has been a new-found love of running.
It is such a powerful cure for his severe depression that the 30-year-old has vowed never to give up what for him is a life-saving hobby.
John's plunge into depression started when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2002.
Although his treatment was a success, like many people who have had major brain surgery, he became severely depressed.
And his fragile state of mind was not helped by the fact he was struggling to find work as an actor.
“The depression had started building up more and more,” he said.
“It started getting very difficult to get work and depression began kicking in seriously.
“It was like my brain switched off and wouldn't engage with anyone else.”
It was in September 2005 that, at rock bottom, he took a journey to Beachy Head.
“I had actually written suicides notes to family and friends,” he recalled.
“It was quite methodically planned out. I stood three steps from the edge and thought 'right, I'm going to do it now'.
“I don't know how but I managed to turn around and walk away.
“At the time my brain is going through such turmoil.”
With the help of his GP he was referred to a community mental health team and admits what they were dealing with was an emotional wreck.
“I was bursting into tears two of three times a week,” he said. “I knew it was just the state of my brain at the time.
“I would never have taken myself to Beachy Head before the tumour.
“I was relieved to start crying because before Beachy Head I couldn't cry.
After two more visits to the same spot at Beachy Head he returned a fourth time and again walked back from the edge.
John was then voluntarily committed to a mental hospital for two months.
After his stay, a friend suggested he start running and he soon felt the benefits.
“It's the combination of the endorphins in your body and the fact you have something to work towards,” he said.
He raised £6,300 for the Brain Research Trust by running the London Marathon last year.
WINNING: John Lake at the gates of the Whitgift School, in South Croydon, where he was a student Photo No: CCRPM150708A by Paul Martyniuk
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